Overcoming Failure

I'm going to talk about FAILURE and how I mean, who has not experienced failure in their life, right?

Most of us have, and it's all about how we choose to handle that. Those of you who got to know me know that I have been an athlete for most of my life. I saved most of my life, young adult life, and childhood up through college, so that I will be talking about that. I'm going to chat about that, my nursing school journey, and how I experience failure. I experienced loss in what I felt to be a pretty significant way.

So anyway, I'm going to be chatting about that, and I'm excited. Talking about failure, I made a post about failure, how to overcome loss and all that good stuff. But I wanted to tell you guys about a couple of my journeys.

So, it all started back when I was young within my realm. I ran track when I was in 6th grade with high schoolers. I was down, and I was always doing something, whether it was baseball, swimming, or basketball, until high school, where I was in basketball, and they cut me. I was always the most prominent, the tallest kid who went through puberty early on like everybody caught up with me by my first year. So I didn't make the varsity team come in my sophomore year. So I got cut from the group. So you know, I was feeling all defeated. I had played sports my entire life. I was at that place where I was trying to figure out where I was, where I was going to go, I was feeling somewhat hopeless, and then someone said, "oh, you should run track. It's a cross country," I'll go do it for one day, see if you like it.

I went out there, and I knew I'd always been a runner, but I never really saw myself as an actual runner. So I went out to practice and fell in love with it, and you know my coach could probably tell you my first time going to practice, I kept up with the girls for about 10 minutes, and then I walked the rest of it. So through that, I grew, and I started finding my identity, my passion. I really fell in love with running and almost became almost my identity because I kind of sort of, but I was good and then I, from high school I went to college and, I did two years in college, and I wasn't feeling it. I was really on the outside just getting out of it.

Anyway, then I got pregnant with my daughter. From there, that's where my fitness journey started to kind of spiral. It was almost the identity that I felt and associated with being a college athlete and being like, really good and being the best. You know, "oh, we're conference champions and track and cross country," like that's something unique. I have a conference champion of the CUSA Championship Ring that I could, like, "Hey! I have this the rest of my life", So that was like my identity, so whenever I had my daughter, it was like, everything came crashing down. That was the first significant thing that the hurdle I hit was, and then, I never really looked at it like that until somewhat recently that I started putting two and two together and like my fitness journey and my overall health journey. That I gave up on that, and from here and there, I would take up running, from time to time, but it never really stuck. Even still, I'm so where I am now. Life has been busy and everything; it has taken until now, at my age, my mid-thirties, that I'm taking charge of my health and fitness. It took me accountability because my heart's desire has always been to be fit and be active.

But here I am, I've put on 30lbs, and it's like, "Oh, my heart's desires, I want to lose weight, I want to get fit." I want to work out, but all the while, I'm not putting effort into it because I feel defeated in that area of my life. And it stemmed from where my identity was wrapped up in which my identity was like, "I was a track star, and now I'm not a track star," and I found myself reminiscing a lot about the past, and that's fine. It's great to have good memories, but we have to keep it in perspective, right? So here we are now, and I am just taking charge of that, working on the emotional side. Like it's just a tool. The tool to get healthy. Running and fitness are great, but having accountability is also very good and helps you achieve your goals, whether it's fitness, whether it's just overall health, or whether it's financially. Having accountability somewhat enables you to push yourself to achieve those goals. Where I am now is that I enjoyed a program called Intense Fitness. I met Tyler; his name is Tyler Porta. He is the owner of the fitness group and is an online virtual personal trainer. But it took me getting into that program to grasp hold of my fitness and my eating and not being so emotionally driven with my eating and my health because I'm like, "I don't want that, why am I doing this? Yeah, I want to lose some weight," but that's not it. What I want is, I need to get healthy. I want to be able to live a long prosperous life.

Having that accountability is enormous. So here I am, I've taken it on with my mom, with me, and she is like texting each other, "show me your Macros," and it's going to be an intense 16 weeks and hit it hard and dedicate that time for you, to yourself. But I know I had to have accountability for myself, and I know how tremendous responsibility is. So that is one major thing in fitness I have struggled with. I became out of shape. I have put on, as I said, 30lbs since I've graduated high school to where I am now, which some people might be like, "oh girl, you're in shape," but I know I'm not in shape. You know, so having that accountability is significant for you and me. I'm not saying the program I'm doing is for you, but just finding something to have that accountability, whether it's an accountability person.

I think it'll be perfect for you. So that's one aspect. I am now in my mid-thirties, rediscovering myself and my fitness journey because it's essential. It's enormous, and so I encourage all of you to take the time to figure out what is important to you, whether it's journaling. Just finding those things that are important to you and having the accountability, finding someone to hold you accountable or program or a group on Facebook or something is key. So, I also wanted to talk about my nursing school journey because that has been huge in my life. It all started back when I was a child. I have ADHD. I always struggled with focusing and paying attention.

So I always knew how to read, but I couldn't comprehend what I was reading. I would ask myself, "what did I just read?" And so, I always struggled with standardized test-taking. Let's take it back to before I had Malaya. I briefly thought about wanting to go to nursing school, but I was like, it was just too much. Because I struggle with school, I thought to myself. I can't do that. I had that much disbelief in myself. I said I couldn't do that; that's too much. And anyway, so fast forward. I had my daughter, and I started realizing and thinking career-driven, not what was almost impossible. And then, I started my relationship with the Lord during that time and things like that.

But let me tell you, I applied for nursing school, and the very first time I used it, I did not get in, and when I told you, I experienced the most devastating pain. I felt like a failure. I said, "how on earth can I not get in?" Like, I had all the suitable grades. I didn't do well on that standardized test, and I was devastated. I cried. I was like, "Lord, I'm doing everything right. Why am I not getting in?" And that year that I applied for, you know, I don't get long-winded. They had changed the application date from October to August. So I knew that I didn't get in until mid-august, so I still had a couple of months to apply to different programs. So I applied to the program that I got into and started nursing school when I was supposed to start nursing school from the other school I applied to, so the point I'm making is that I wanted to give up. I said this is bogus; this is crap; this person got it. I didn't get it that you started doing all that blaming and naming, and I was frustrated. I would not be sitting here today talking to you if I had given up. I'm saying that very boldly because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm doing what the Lord has called me to do, I know without a shadow of a doubt. I feel very purposeful; I'll love what I do. Still, the point I'm making in this is that if you don't try to push and overcome failure and keep pushing past when you face those challenges, what are you not accomplishing that you're destined to achieve?

So, I mean, I must guess what you feel like a failure in your mind when you reach. It's not so much that it is even a failure. I even like to say it's opposition; when you face opposition, you keep putting your foot down and keep pushing forward and understanding that sometimes it doesn't always go right the first time, and it's okay. The biggest thing is that if you can start realizing you can do this, and you gain momentum for each obstacle you come across and overcome. You gain that confidence behind you. And I say all this with such great confidence because if I would not have persevered, if I had just given up and just like, fine, forget it, I'm not meant to be a nurse. After all, if I weren't admitted into the program, guys, I would not be changing lives like I am now. When I say changing lives, I say that because you know when patients come to me, a lot of times it's pulling at strings because life is hard sometimes, and I would not be a resource being able to be utilized. I don't want to say that I'm it, but what I'm saying is that it's imperative that when you have a goal, keep it in front of you and have that accountability. You could write it down and put it on your mirror, put it on your computer, whatever it is so that you don't get it, when you do come across that opposition or obstacles, you're going to keep going forward, you're going to keep pushing so that you're not going to give up. I mean, it's fantastic; I love where I am in life now. That being said, it doesn't mean that I am in the perfect place.

There's no such thing. You will face opposition. It's just called life. So make sure to take away from today when you face opposition that you remember what your goals are and that despite opposition, you keep pushing forward because I'm a firm believer that we're all destined to do things. We all have a purpose in life. We all are here with a plan, and I believe that the graveyard is one of the wealthiest areas because people die with all these unanswered, pretty much-undone things. They go to like non-books, not published songs, not written, and the business has not started because of opposition and fear and failure and not pushing past that.

And so, write your goals down, keep them in front of you and keep pushing because "if I did not have them, I would not be where I am today." And I'll tell you what, if I can do it, I know you all can because I'm not anybody special. So anyway, if you have any questions or need anything, please feel free to reach out to me. I will help in any way I can.